Perfect isn’t perfect

I got to the point of realizing my house is never going to be a perfect show home some years ago.  Honestly, I’m not sure why I ever really wanted that because I really don’t like to entertain.  We don’t have people over aside from family,  I don’t have girls night playing bunco or talking about books we’ve all read.  My husband & I both prefer it just be us, the kids & sometimes my parents hanging out anyways.  I have never been one that has to have people around to energize me,  I am definitely an introvert.  People exhaust me!!!  I don’t like having to worry about my bathroom being spotless or making sure that spot on the carpet has been cleaned up, so no one will notice.  I don’t care what people think about my messy/used lived in every room house.  All that matters to me is that the 4 of us living here are happy & content.

Having said all that, I want to quickly state that arachnoiditis sucks!  I took my Mom on an errand, along with my 7 year old (we do online school).  I stood and did some walking for about an hour.  I wore my TENS unit because it helps to distract from the pain.  I don’t think it makes it better, but distraction is, I believe, an accurate word for what it does for me.

When we got home, I needed to start peeling potatoes for dinner.  My husband pretty much does all the shopping, plans the meals and cooks and cleans up now.  But, he was going to be a bit late and we like to eat fairly early.  So, I peeled potatoes, he started chopping onions as soon as he got home.  I finished putting the dish together and got it in the oven.  Bending to do even this is an act I do cautiously, trying to remember to bend at the knees and lift carefully.  He said he’d empty the clean dishes when I was done, but he is very tired.  He gets up at 4:30-5 regularly as he just wakes up, he isn’t a morning person.  Anyhow, I decided to empty it, got in trouble for that as he doesn’t like me bending over a lot.  I try not to, but sometimes I feel bad he has to do so much around here and work a full time job.  So, then I organized himself pills for the week and emptied the dryer of clothes as well.  By then, my back was yelling at me to sit down & take a break.

Thankfully, having children got me partially ready for accepting my house would never ALWAYS be perfectly tidy & clean.  I’m a bit OCD about the way I like things.  I like things to be clean & organized.  I like the laundry to be caught up, the sink to be empty, the countertops clean, shower curtain tidy & closed.  I like the kitchen & bathroom counters to be wiped down and clean AND I like the towels to be hung or laid out to dry.  It drives me crazy when people leave them in a ball.  It drives me crazy when people leave soap running down the soap pump or in a puddle on the counter.  I DESPISE stepping on crumbs!!!!!

So, these seemingly unrelated paragraphs of me ranting a bit lead me to this.  I have got to accept that “things” will never be perfect or near perfect in my house.  It’s ok!  I thought when I became a stay at home Mom, I’d keep up better, nope.  Dusting is one of my downfalls, I hate dusting.  Ah, let’s see if we can set a record and get to 2”…. 🤫😏 My back hurts and my leg hurts – Arachnoiditis has taken my regular life from me.  I must do everything with caution, with a limit and I MUST ask for help.  I do not like to ask for help, I like being independent.

But, I have learned to ask for help 🙄 – I’ve slowed down significantly & I’m on the way to accepting my life will never be as it once was.  I am extremely blessed to have people who stick with me & will always support me.  That is a whole lot more than most have, I have to remind myself of this on occasion.

My house isn’t perfect, but my people are mostly happy and THAT is perfect.  Even if my perfection comes at the cost of some pain.  It’s perfectly painful!  9DF2A5DD-1A61-4DFB-98AB-4F373036BA91


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